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March 31, 2012

The Time Dilema

Dear BLu

Please help. I am struggling with a choice and perhaps you can look into the future and help me decide what to do. My challenge is as follows;

I am 40 years old and have recently met a 26 year old guy who makes me feel alive. We have a great time together and our relationship is exciting and passionate. He loves my kids and they seem to enjoy playing together – and he spend hours on the Playstation with my son. Trouble is that he is much younger than me and so we enjoy different things. I still can’t wait to catch up with him and I look forward to the passion.

I have also recently met a 46 year old guy who is more stable and financially secure. He takes me out to dinners and we spend many hours discussing a variety of spiritual topics. We can talk for hours and we enjoy each other’s company very much. He also spoils me with gifts that I couldn’t otherwise afford, and he is also very kind to my son (16) and daughter (19) who loves him very much. The trouble is that he has not yet made any physical advances and I am concerned that he doesn’t find me that attractive or that he is very passionate or romantic.

Please help, I don’t know what to do!!!

Angela

Dear Angela

I cannot see the future, no one can, and if they tell you they can they are lying and you will be deceived into creating what you believe, if you believe their lies! Please don’t.

Life is a series of choice where you have the opportunities to make choices which will eventually enable your awakening from the dream of this world. All choices are therefore opportunities to make the “right-minded” choice of LOVE.

As far as your relationships are concerned; I am not a relationship counsellor, but I will give you my opinion. What you do with my opinion is then entirely up to you.

As far as the younger guy is concerned, you have to ask yourself the following questions, and within the questions that you ask yourself, the answers will present themselves. Know that the answer is always in the question, because everything you perceive as a problem/grievance/challenge has a miracle/healing/truism behind it.

1. The 14 year gap. When you turn 50, he will be 36. When you turn 60 he will be 46. Will he still want to make passion with you or will he be looking at younger women. When he turns 30, your daughter will be 23. Think about that!
2. Why is he with you? Does he want to be with you or are you an easy “free-passion” with no commitments option. Most young women his age are looking for a life-partner and maybe he is not the commitment type. Perhaps you need to look at this a little more seriously.
3. If passion is what you want, then enjoy it for what it is, but make a choice between the two men or you are going to sow pain, and in turn you will receive the same. May not be returned to you immediately, but you can be sure that it will. That’s the way of the universal law of cause and effect.
4. What is it that you want? A partner for life or a bonk-buddy. If you want a bonk-buddy, then there is no need to ask me what to do.

As far as the older guy is concerned…..consider this….

1. So he is not as passionate and so what? Are you still a schoolgirl? Passion at 40 is not like teenage passion. If it was, how would we grow into a deeper understanding of love? Have you tried discussing it with him? At 46 he sould be mature enough to engage you and discover your needs and desires. He hasn’t tried to get you into bed yet. Wow, a man with patience and chivalry, who shows you love by giving you hours of attention through great conversation. And to top it all he buys you gifts. Have you considered what his love-language might be?
2. At 46 he has been through many of lifes challenges. This does not mean that he has lost his passion. He may never have been a passionate fella, but then again he may just respect you and is taking his time. Be honest with him and he may just surprise you.
3. Your kids love him….wow, a man who is respected and loved by your kids, what more could you ask for?
4. As for passion….by giving what you seek, you will become it and draw it to yourself. If you need another to ignite it in you, then tell them.

Then on a very different level of consciousness….

Every person in this world bar a few Christs walking the earth have a emptiness inside. No one seems to know where it comes from, and even fewer are aware that they have an emptiness. They all just feel the need to fill the hole inside with people, places, things and events in the hope that they will feel fulfilled.

The insanity about this phenomena is that people, places, things and events are all illusionary constructs of a fractured Mind, desperately trying to remember what it is. No person or thing or event or place will ever fulfill you permanentley, and so inevitably, once we have what we think we want, we settle into mediocrity once again and the longingness for fulfilment returns like a empty hole inside us once again.

So how about asking what causes this thought, sense or feeling of emptiness?

Think about the question before reading on….

The answer is Separation. We feel or think and therefore believe that we are seperated from what we believe will fulfil us, and because of theis separation feeling or thoughts, we receive exactly where our belief lies. The truth is that mankind has always felt this way. We have felt seperated since the BIG BANG – the Fall – The Seperation from our Source and our God. We became seperated because of one tiny mad idea that we could be seperated, and since then all we have done is replayed the thought in our minds over and over again.

The truth however is that we cannot be seperated from our Source, but we can however believe we are! We will continue believing we are seperated for as long as we harbour any guilt, resentment, fear, anger, hatred, prejudice or negative emotion of any kind. Until we can love everything and everyone including ourselves 100% without prejudice of any sort and without any conditions whatsoever, we will remain in a state of illusionary separation which will give credibility to this lie.
So what is the solution to ending the seperation so that the emptiness inside comes to an end?

Obviously the answer is love, but since love is prevented by guilt, resentment, fear, anger, hatred, prejudice or negative emotion of any kind, we first have to forgive all the causes of what keeps us seperated.

Through forgiveness, we find love, and through love we find wholeness and return to oneness where emptiness, lonileness and that hollow feeling cannot exist.

I hope this helps

Namaste

BLu

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